To pee, or not to pee?

In Japan, this seems to be a serious question as your humble toilet is so much more than a simple "water closet". In fact even the public rest rooms have more controls than a smart phone!

Note in particular the have an oscillating or non-oscillating front or rear wash. This is terrifying and you have to be very careful not to hit the wrong button when trying to flush or you will suddenly get hit by an expected jet of warm air.

In public toilets not only do they have all these funny controls but they also play what we can only describe as "vanity music" which masks the sound of anyone going for a wee! Heaven forbid that people should actually, y' know, go to the loo in the toilet!